The Accident

On 4/16/2010 at approximately 10 to 10:15pm, my Lenny was involved in a serious boating accident. There were 6 occupants of the boat, all were injured. Both Lenny and his best friend Jakie sustained life threatening injuries and were airlifted to trauma centers, Jakie to Las Vegas, Lenny to Phoenix.

I received a call at 1:45am informing me of the accident. I then spent the next 2 hours trying to find him and find out what happened. After calling two hospitals I found Jakie, and then called his mom and she took it from there. I still couldn't find Lenny, so I called the Lake Havasu Police and they got back to me in about a half an hour telling me he was in Phoenix and that the social worker would be calling me soon. Next came the longest 20 minutes of my life. Waiting to hear....

Lenny sustained the following injuries - Completely fractured face from the upper jaw to above the eyes, broken neck, broken ribs, collapsed lungs, and severely broken legs. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I spent the next several minutes rallying friends and getting to YiYi (that is what Lenny calls his sister). We all headed to Phoenix and below I will update you on his condition, how we are holding up, and have a way to communicate with you to keep you updated and be able to answer your questions and be able to get the support we so desperately need from all the wonderful people that love him.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


I am so thankful for the amount of support coming through. Words cannot express how thankful I am, and how much I appreciate it. So many of you are asking if I need anything, and I am so grateful. I have always tried to help others, and always felt I can do it on my own and make it work, which makes me have a hard time asking anyone for help. So to all of you, again, thank you.

My mind is a total haze, everything that I do feels like I am going through the motions but am not quite there. Sleeping is hard because every time I wake up I think that this is all a dream. That I can just get up and go to work like normal, and Lenny and I will be having breakfast while the cats drink out of his milk glass. Then I realize it did happen, and my haze of a day starts all over again. I feel like a walking zombie and everything I do makes me think of Lenny. Today in the grocery his favorite donuts were right there staring at me. I wanted to bring him one because all day he has been complaining of being hungry.

This morning I got a call from the hospital at I think around 7am, by this time of the night things get a little fuzzy, telling me that Lenny was getting anxious and was asking for me. I asked them if I could come over there because my first visiting session was not for 2 hours. They said I could, but just for a minutes. When I got there they let me in and I got to stay for 5 minutes. He seemed ok, maybe just needed some comfort.

We headed over for the morning session visit and he was pretty asleep. I think they sedated him a little from the anxiety he was feeling. No news updates because the trauma nurses were really busy with another patient.

Jen arrived to be with me Monday, because Mel who came with me, had to leave on Tuesday unfortunately to get home to Kodie and Kelly. Well Jen had to leave today at noon to get home to the kids, and I hated to see her leave. I just want to thank them and tell them how much I love them for taking time out of their lives to come here with me. They took care of zombie me, got me clothes, told me to eat, and just sat there with me in silence knowing there was nothing any of us could do to change this.

At the afternoon session he was still really sleepy, but tried to communicate with us a little, but not much. Still no news on any changes, he was just fighting along.

At the evening visit he was awake pretty much, groggy but awake. It took us about 15 minutes to figure out he was hungry and his mouth was dry, but we got it. Then he again went to wanting me to bath him. We talked to the nurses and they let me do a little for him so I was glad to do something for him. (Plus no one should be touching those parts but me anyways! Giggle) I feel so helpless watching him lay there, in one breath thinking how lucky he is to be alive, and in another breath wondering how this could be happening, it is like something out of a movie or TV show that doesn't happen to real people right? How many times do you see or read about tragedies like this one, and it never crosses your mind that this could happen to you. I didn't even get to see him before he left, I had to go to work and he wasn't home yet. I think about the fact that I talked to him on the phone less than an hour before they crashed, that I should have said something different, that I should have stopped them somehow. I remember talking to Jakie, he says to me every time, and I mean every time, he gets on the phone with me "what up dork". I thought about going with them, maybe I would have stopped them, maybe I could have prevented this, but that is all a mute point now. Anyways, guess I have gotten off on a rant, but my mind does not focus good to stay on track, so on to the night visit.

The night visit was very short. When we got there they told us that he was being sedated due to the anxiety, so I only got to say goodnight and I love you. I love that he gives me the I Love You symbol in sign language, it is priceless. We had a new night nurse, as Barry only works 3 days. Her name is Angie and she was very nice. She explained to us that they will start doing 'trach trials" tonight. That means that they will turn off the vent for up to 2 hours to see how his breathing does. All his breaths are his own, so it will hopefully go well. They will alternate this every two hours as long as he does well. Then tomorrow they will do it for longer intervals until eventually he is off the vent, which is great news.

It is a little after 10pm and this time every night I get somber thinking about them all lying out there being searched for. I read on a forum today that a firefighter that was out there said he was surprised Lenny was alive, and that it took them over an hour to cut him out of the boat. All I have to say is thank you rescue, police, firefighters, emt's, the dispatcher who helped me find him, Julie, the social worker at the hospital who told me about Lenny's injuries, and anyone else I should be thanking. It would be my life's dream to meet you all and give you a hug. I have no one to thank more then you for saving them all. If you are out there, please let me know. I also would like to thank the Deputy that calls me to check on Lenny and his progress. Without you all he would not be here. Words cannot express how much love I have for you all in my heart.

As I sit here staring at the screen every minute that ticks by seems like an eternity, and I just keep convincing my brain to keep going, my body to keep walking, and my heart to stop hurting. I have never felt the heaviness in my heart that I feel now. I beg all of you to share my story with everyone you know, because let me tell you, THIS CAN HAPPEN TO YOU! If I never see another drop of alcohol or a boat again in my entire life it is to soon. I am sure many of you can think of a time when you pushed the limit, in a boat, in a car, anytime. Someone posted somewhere, to take a look around, look at your passengers, and decide if you are willing to risk them. If you are willing to risk their lives and their families lives. I beg you to not do it.

Love, Nancy


  1. Nancy,
    It breaks my heart to know you may be physically alone right now. I hope you know that mentally, there are so many of us right there with you. You may feel very weak, but knowing you, you are one of the strongest people I know. You have come such a long way from the first time I met you. Be proud that you are a confident, strong, very loving, funny women. You have the strength and power to make anything happen. You are in the best place right now, right by Lenny's side, right where you should be. I love you both, and pray every day for the both of you, and Jackie.

    It hurts to not have the same type of updates about Jackie. I wonder all day long how he is doing. I hope he is getting great care, that he is healing, and that he knows how Lenny is doing. I know it must be hard to not know about him, hopefully someone is filling him in.

    I wish I could just stop, drop, and roll on out to you and stay with you each day. I will do what I can for you, of course it is not as much as I would like, so right now it will have to be just words. Keep hoping, keep praying, keep loving.

    Love Jen E.

  2. You are so right Nancy, there are many many times when we get into a car and think that we are ok to drive,and knock on wood, that has not ahppened to me .... but this is definately an eye opener, not just to never get behind the wheel after drinking, but also to never miss an opportunity to tell the ones you love how much you love them, because in a split second, that person you love can be gone.

    I am so glad that you have more opportunities to tell Lenny you love him, and be thankful that you are able to see him, talk to him and even hold his hand.

    Hang in there girl.

  3. Nancy,
    I really wanted to be with you tonight... But somehow I thought that maybe you might want a little privacy.. Reading your words has brought me to tears for the saddness you are feeling and I will be with you tomorrow to show my support for you.. I am so glad to hear positive news everyday about Lenny.. I think about all of you throughout my day, but I don't want to bother you because I know how much you update others throughout the day. Your strength and courage is inspirational to me and everyone that reads what you are writing. Everything happens for a reason, I firmly believe this, for what reason? We will know someday.. Hopefully, this will teach a lesson for more than just the guys involved in this tragedy, but others that are reading this. you are wonderful and I love you.


  4. This is just like you my daughter. Even in your darkest moments right now you are still reaching out to others to make them aware that this could happen to them and to please learn a lesson from these guys suffering from the injuries they sustained in this terrible accident. I want so much to get your story out to everyone that can possibly hear it. You are always thinking of others that is just who you are. I am very proud of you my daughter and through my love I hope to bring both you and Lenny strength to get through the days ahead. May God bless you both every moment of everyday through out the rest of your life. I have never known a more giving person in my life than you and that is not just because you are my daughter its because it is the truth. Love Lenny every day for the rest of your life and never ever lose sight of the future. A good future is coming with happiness and laughter for both of you.

    I Love You,

  5. Very strong words Nancy. I hope everyone will understand what you are saying. Nancy, I do. I really wish I could be there to hug you, cry, scream . I hurt for you, for Lenny and his family. I can't wait for this to be over, and Lenny is home with you and you will feel safe, with him, at home.

    Love, Julia

  6. Hello Nancy, I do not know you or your Lenny, but I am friends with another person involved in the accident. I have been reading all of this since you first posted it and each time I read an update I find myself with tears in my eyes. I can't express enough how so very sorry I am for what you and Lenny are going through. My heart goes out to you and Lenny, to every person on the boat and all the families involved. By reading everyone's comments I can see you and Lenny are loved so very much and that is such a blessing. I am not sure of the right words to say to you but I will say this.. I pray for God to give you strength and comfort during the days that are ahead of you. I pray for God to give the doctors wisdom in the decisions they make and the surgeries (if any) they will need to perform. I pray for the hospital staff who you are in contact with to have an amazing and compassionate bedside manner. I pray for God to provide a hedge of protection around Lenny and every part of his body. God is the ultimate doctor and an amazing healer. I also pray for you Nancy,though I do not know you, your love for Lenny is so beautiful and you seem to be such a stong person. Remember that when you are weak and feel you can not go on God will lift you up and carry you during this difficult time. I will continue to pray for you. God bless you both., Jennifer M.

  7. Nancy you are such a special person to me. I just wanted you to know my heart and prayers are with you everyday. It is so hard for one to realize this could be us in a change of an instant. We need to embrace everyday...

    I miss you,
    Bonnie Sibley

  8. Nancy,
    I love that you do this since nobody can be in there to see how is doing but you and YiYi.I like seeing the pictures that you put up of you,Lenny and my brother.This has been the hardest thing we have ever had to deal with since I can't be there everyday like my mom has. My mom and I want to make you tell Lenny (the good son/shorty) we love and to get well soon. I know they both keep asking how the other one is and it probably making them crazy that they can't talk to each other,but they will very soon.Please keep me up to date> I Love you both,and say many prayers every day for both our boys.

    Wendy & Mother

  9. Nancy,
    I want you to know that many of us are with you in spirit, even though we're miles away. I have developed such a love for you from reading your words. I look forward to meeting you. I want to reiterate that I am so glad that Lenny has you in his life. And I completely understand your sense of being in a fog. Even though you aren't the one who was injured, you have been traumatized none the less. You life has been torn upside down and you are trying to function within that. I can tell that you are a very strong person. Don't lose grasp of that when the weaker moments hit you (and they will). You and Lenny will make it through this. Always keep that thought as your core primary thought. So when the times come that it seems like you won't make it through this.. ..bring up your core thought. It won't be easy that's for sure, but you will be surprised how just keeping that thought can strengthen you and ease your mind. As far as the guilt you are feeling, that is not unusual. You wish so much you could have prevented this entire tragedy. Boy, I understand that feeling. But take it from experience, your energy is better spent on the here and now, not what could have been. And please take some time for yourself to do something pleasant what ever that might be. You have time in between your visits with Lenny to do something that will replenish your spirit. Take in a movie, get a massage. Take a walk. Do something for you and don't you dare feel guilty about it.
    Hang in there My Dear Nancy.
    Aunt Sharon

  10. Nancy, you are such and awesome person. Please tell Lenny Hi for me, and that I miss and love him. I hope to see you guys soon. I wish with ever inch of my heart that I could be there with you. It's killing me that I can't. I think about all of you everyday. It is so sad that Lenny and Jakie are not together. I am very glad you started this blog. It really helps. I love you all. Stay strong Nancy!