First of all I would like to thank all of you for your kind words. I didn't know how much it would really help to know that so many people take the time to support us.
I slept a few hours last night which is an improvement. I decided this morning to actually comb my hair and try to put myself together more. I went to see Lenny for the morning visit and he was awake, barely. He is of course being treated for pain because of the extensive surgery. I learned this morning that there was a complication with his feeding tube but that it was an easy fix. We had a nice visit but he slept most of the time.
By the afternoon visit he was just a little more awake so it took me a little longer to understand what he was trying to tell me. He kept taking my hand and Yiyi was able to understand that he was making a "W" and then he was rubbing my hand on his stomach, and Yiyi figured out he wanted a bath. He was glad when we figured out what it was, but then he only wanted me to do it. We explained that the nurses had to do it for his safety.
Great news, he will not have to have neck surgery. He will be in the brace for at least six weeks, maybe longer, but the more times we can keep him out of surgery the sooner he can start focusing on recovery. Every time he goes into surgery the worse we have to worry about him making it out, so the least amount of necessary surgeries, the better.
The evening visit brought Lenny asking about "Fat Boy"(Jakie) once I figured it out what he was trying to tell me by pointing to his belly. I finally got Fat, but it took me a minute to get Boy. So now the code gesture for Fat Boy is giggling the belly with his hand. I told him how Jakie was doing and he gave his "awesome" hand gesture. Next he moved on to wanting to know about "TD" I could for the life of me not figure out what "TD" stood for. I felt horrible. The visit was over and I couldn't tell him what he was looking for. Well sure as you know it as soon as I got back to the room I figure it out "The Dog". For those of you who don't know us that is one of our cats, the one that loves Lenny the MOST! Lenny and I have 4 cats, yes, I said 4 cats. Lenny cannot help but save those stray cats he finds at his work, the first two we wanted, the last two he rescued. The Dog is Lenny's baby, and it is obvious he is missing him.
I was so excited to get to the night visit to tell him I figured out he wanted to know about The Dog, but when we got there he was out for the count. Usually he will wake up just a little, but not tonight, he was resting peacefully. Now for the funny part, when we walked in the SICU nurses had found a TV for Lenny and rolled it next to his bed. Anyone want to guess what they had on for him to listen to, yes you guessed it, Laker Game. It is to bad that he is so knocked out that he doesn't know, but I hope he can still hear it. The nurses here are so wonderful, and Lenny has Barry again tonight which we love. They still haven't bathed him but will be tonight.
Today was an awful day for me, I was a zombie not knowing whether to cry, vomit, or scream, and I still don't know how I will get through this, but I don't have a choice. I will never understand why this has happened to us, and why our families were the ones chosen to endure this tragedy. What were they all thinking? Will any of us ever know? It doesn't even matter. Nothing does anymore. All that matters now is Lenny and Jakie, and my two guys getting through this. One day at a time, one minute at a time really, because that is all I feel like I can get through sometime. It is going to be a long road for our guys, and one of the most painful things is I cannot be with Jakie. He is our best friend and has been for so long. Lenny and Jakie have the bond more like brothers then friends, they call each other daily, several times, just to say nothing to each other. It is amazing. I just want to hug Jakie, see him, know he is ok, but I have to focus on Lenny, just as Mother and Wendy have to focus on Jakie. The pain for each of our families is so intensified because we are separated and doing this without each other. I imagine the pain I feel for Jakie is the same pain they are feeling for Lenny. Both our families have to endure this times 2, not just one of our guys, but both of them. I imagine it is the same for you all that know us, because if you know us, you know Jakie.
Lenny has always told me so many times that when times have been rough for us in this down turned market we would "make it work". That is what I will have to do now, make it work. For our survival, not just health wise, but life wise. I will figure out a way to make this work, I have to. I am a manager, that is what I do, so I have to manage.
Thank you again to all of you out there. Please spread the word as high and far as you can. Our guys need you, as do I.
I love you all, Nanc