The Accident

On 4/16/2010 at approximately 10 to 10:15pm, my Lenny was involved in a serious boating accident. There were 6 occupants of the boat, all were injured. Both Lenny and his best friend Jakie sustained life threatening injuries and were airlifted to trauma centers, Jakie to Las Vegas, Lenny to Phoenix.

I received a call at 1:45am informing me of the accident. I then spent the next 2 hours trying to find him and find out what happened. After calling two hospitals I found Jakie, and then called his mom and she took it from there. I still couldn't find Lenny, so I called the Lake Havasu Police and they got back to me in about a half an hour telling me he was in Phoenix and that the social worker would be calling me soon. Next came the longest 20 minutes of my life. Waiting to hear....

Lenny sustained the following injuries - Completely fractured face from the upper jaw to above the eyes, broken neck, broken ribs, collapsed lungs, and severely broken legs. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I spent the next several minutes rallying friends and getting to YiYi (that is what Lenny calls his sister). We all headed to Phoenix and below I will update you on his condition, how we are holding up, and have a way to communicate with you to keep you updated and be able to answer your questions and be able to get the support we so desperately need from all the wonderful people that love him.

Thursday, April 22, 2010


So as usual I will start with thanking you all for your comments. I cannot even tell you how many hours I spend staring at the blog, reading and re-reading all of your comments. Even those of you who do not know us send your love and prayers which is the best medicine. I cannot believe it has almost been a week since the accident. The time has just been a blur.

You will remember that yesterday I told you they were going to try Lenny on trials to get him off of the ventilator. They were going to take him off the vent at 10pm for up to two hours depending on how he did. I called at midnight to see how he did, the nurse told me he failed. He didn't even make it a minute. He just wasn't ready yet. I just couldn't get it out of my head so I barely slept. All I can do is think about what the next day will bring for Lenny and I.

At the morning visit he was sleeping, and we met his new nurse. She was wonderful. Really paid attention to his needs and wants and communicated with him well. He now has a little button he can push when he has pain, but I guess he is never really pushing it. I think he is so out of it he forgets it is there, so she called the doctor to get him back on pain meds that are given to him on a time line. It was nice to see her thinking of what is best for him. She told us that they would not try the vent trials again for a few days to give him more time to recover.

By the afternoon visit he was still sleepy, so we only stayed a few minutes. They changed all his bed sheets and moved him around in the bed and you could tell he was a little more comfortable. We asked the nurse to check with the doctor on how soon his eyes will be unstitched so he can see us again, and she is supposed to get back to us.

The evening visit was great. He was more awake and excited to see us. When we arrived we had to wait a few minutes into our visiting time because they were changing the bandages on his legs. It was nice to see his legs, and the wounds. I guess the more things you can finally see and understand the better you feel about it, the unknown is always hard to understand. He has tons of staples of course from the surgeries, and the lower left leg is messed up pretty bad from the severity of the compound fracture. He also was receiving another round of red blood for the second day in a row. The open wound on his leg and the facial oozing is causing him to need blood. ANOTHER REASON WHY WE ALL NEED TO REMEMBER TO GIVE BLOOD. They were also getting the TV set up for him to listen to the Laker Game, he is so spoiled. I had the LAKER GNOME mailed to me today so I will hopefully have it in a day or so (for those of you who don't know what that is, he has a Laker Collection that includes a Laker Gnome, he puts the gnome out for each game to watch it with him for luck). I think it will pick up his spirits to know it is here.

For the second time an old friend from high school, Melisa, brought us a home cooked meal. She has been wonderful. She picked me up from the airport and took me to the hospital, brought us a home cooked meal on Sunday at the hospital, and then again tonight. I haven't even seen her in like 15 years but it feels like it was just yesterday. She doesn't even ask, she just does. She is an amazing person. It is amazing to me the hospitality we humans have. The way we can bind together in time of tragedy, even to strangers. I received a $40 donation from a total stranger yesterday. I was without words, engrossed with emotion that someone would do something like this for me. So I thank you. The connection I feel with people I have not even met is amazing, and I could not ask for better support. I have a hard time asking anyone for anything, because I have this controlling type of personality that just thinks I can handle anything and make anything work, so I wish I could think of things I need to take you all up on your offers....but my mind just goes blank. I can barely think at all and when I do it is just of Lenny, so please don't think I am ignoring your offers, I just don't know what to ask for.

The night visit was the first time I have broken down with Lenny. I could not help myself. I made the visit by myself because YiYi was not feeling good. When I got there he heard me come in and was waving me over. He was so happy to know I was there. The first thing I do when I get there is make sure he doesn't need anything. He needed to be moved in the bed a little, because he was sliding down, but for the most part he was ok. He has never held my hand as tight as he did tonight, and he actually pulled it up to his lips and kissed my hand repeatedly. I could not control myself and I started sobbing. He then held both my hands so tight against his stomach and we started to play "Lenny Charades" as he wanted to tell me something. He kept motioning "me and you" and after many questions I got to the fact that he didn't want me to leave. I tried to explain to him that they wouldn't let me stay, but that if he just went to sleep I would be back in the morning. I told him over and over that I would not leave him here, that I would stay in Phoenix as long as he is here and that he didn't have to worry. That I would never miss a single visit as long as they let me in. My heart was breaking just when I thought there was nothing left in there to break that I couldn't stay with him. I told him as soon as we got him in a normal ICU room I would be able to be with him all day. I asked the nurse to give him something to help him sleep because I knew the anxiety would be coming because he would not let go of me. I was sobbing, but couldn't let him know it. I just stood there bent over with him clutching me to his chest. I would have done anything to stay there with him, but I know I had to go right on time so I didn't violate the visiting rules. I have held myself to the visiting rules "TO THE LETTER" as I don't want to be that family member you have to kick out everyday or is difficult. I want them to make My Lenny better, and if that means I only get to see him for 30 minutes four times a day so be it. Maybe once I can be with him all day and help take care of him I will start to move forward, but until then I feel lost and unstable.

I am sure as time progresses these blogs will be more upbeat, and I apologize for venting off on here, I know you are here to know about Lenny's progress, but frankly, all of you are all I got. Our family, our friends, and those that are becoming our family and friends.  Every message I receive from you gives me that moment of strength that I pull from you, that gets me through one more day, one more minute, one more second, reminds me to take that next breath. Please know that I could never say enough how much I value all of you. How I long to hug each and every one of you, how I long for this to just be over and Lenny and I be home with our kitties. I love you all.


  1. I know I should be saying awesome words to you right now to lift you up, but I can't help but cry after reading your blog tonight. Just remember that I am praying for Lenny, and You and Jackie.

    Love Jen Evans

  2. My dear sweet daughter I wish as your mother I new just the right thing to say and the right thing to do to help you through this horrific time in both of your lives. All I know is that I love you and want you to know that your strength and courage will take you through each day. Your tears are our tears as we read your blog on a daily basis I am sure all your family and friends cry with you as I do. I want so much to take this pain and heartache away from both of you. Just know my sweet Nancy that the day will come hopefully sooner than later that this will all be over and you will both be smiling again. Stay strong and God will help you through each and every day.

    I love you,

  3. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. I can't wait for him to be home with you sitting in his chair, watching a Laker game with his gnome. This will happen soon Nancy. He is here with you, with us.

    Love ,Julia

  4. Nancy,
    I have been praying for you guys since you asked us to on facebook. I have just spent the last hour reading your blog and facebook pages. I can see what a great relationshio you have and my heart just breaks for you both. I will continue to keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.


  5. Nancy,
    I have not had the pleasure of meeting you, yet. However I look forward to the day that I can give you a great big hug. You are an amazing person and this world is a better place for having you in it. Please know that many of us are not only praying for Lenny's recovery but for your strength and healing as well.
    The first thing I do every morning is read your blog and every morning the tears overwhelm me. I literally have this sinking feeling in my tummy and an aching in my heart for you and Lenny. Since we have never met I was a little hesitant to comment but this morning I felt very compelled to let you know what an awesome person you are and I am praying that you will be able to feel some sort of peace and comfort. I wish I could be there to offer you a shoulder to lean on.
    Please don’t feel like you need to apologize for venting here. I am constantly going back to the blog throughout the day to check on both of you. This blog is just as much for people to check on you and is a great tool for your coping and healing. Thank you for being you. I pray that God gives you even more strength than you already have.

  6. Nancy,

    Words can't begin to express how truly sorry I am for everything you are going through. Your mom is are an amazing person! You and Lenny have been in my prayers and are on our prayer list at church. I pray that God will comfort you during this time and continue to provide you with the strength you need. I love you girl!


  7. Nancy,

    You need to vent. That is part of the healing process. If you dont you will explode. I truly believe God only gives you what you can handle. For some reason he thinks you can handle this. I pray for you and your Lenny and think about what you are going through and how you are both doing. Stay strong for you and Lenny. May God watch over you both each and every minute of the day. Find comfort in God!

    Love to you both!

  8. I cant help but cry for you and lenny... I cant even begin to say I know what you and him must be going thru,.... that would be lying ... However you and lenny are in my thoughts and prayers every day... hang in there... be strong and positive.. give him lots of hugs n kissess... as strong as he is... you have to be stronger... yes stronger than superman.. best wishes get well soon lenny.. bobby

  9. Dear Nancy and Lenny,
    This is Mike Stensaas' mom. As he shared this horrible accident with me tears streamed down his face. Even though we have never met I know how you two have taken care of my son. Know that we are praying for you and asking God to give you the peace and comfort and only He can give. He is the Great Physician and he has given those doctors the wisdom to help Lenny to heal. Your road may be long but what a testament of love you are showing all of us. We lift you up every day.
    We send our love,
    Larry and Tomya

  10. One of those strangers,
    I'm one of those strangers looking in from far away.I pray for you and Lenny each day as I read your pain,know that in time your honey will hold you again even tighter than before.I am sure that every time Lenny opens his eyes and sees you there,it gives him hope,comfort and the will to keep fighting.We will hope and pray for Lenny's recovery and keep your kind soul in our thoughts and prayers also.God bless you both.
    Take care,

  11. Thinking about you Nancy and all you have been thru this week. This week of hell. I can't imagine. Stay strong. Take care of yourself too. Everyday is a healing day and time will heal. Hang in there, we love you.


  12. Hey Nanc. Hang in there girl!! You are so wonderful. Take one day at a time. Sending Lenny my best. Love to you both!!! Do you know how Jakie is doing? Blog on him if you have any information. Take care of yourself. You will need all your strength for you both. Wish I could be there to give you your hug!! It is wierd not having you here. I can't wait till you both are home. Anything you can think of I will do. Let me know. Hi to YIYI. Love Allison

  13. Nancy & Lenny,

    I am sitting here sobbing after reading your heart felt words. I am so glad that you are able to be there each day with Lenny. I picture him reaching out to you from his hospital bed, and my heart breaks for you both. I pray through out the day for Lenny and Jackie. I pray for a full recovery for them both. I pray for God to continue to give you strength Nancy, and watch over all of you during this time. I was thinking that it has been 1 week tonight that this horrible accident happened. It seems like it has been longer.
    Please give Lenny my love and continue to stay strong Nancy. I love you....
    Love~ Mel

  14. Nancy, I was so sorry to hear of this horrible tragedy....Lenny is so lucky to have you in his life. You two will be fine...God will give you strength....just take one day at a time and get thru that day...the next day will have new challenges....I am keeping you, Lenny, Jimmy, Mike, Sr. and Joanne and all the kids in my prayers....Shelly Bornstein

  15. Hi Nancy, Lenny is so lucky, and thank God he is young and getting through this horrendous accident. And he is lucky to have so much love in you, his family and friends. I can fully appreciate how hard it has been and still is for both of you. But I know how strong and resourceful you are and it shows. God bless you, keep up your courage. I think of you and pray. Love, Rodanthi